Guilt is the silent abuser. Worst of all, it can come from a place of love. A person that is so attached to you that the smallest thing you do can knock their life into a frenzy.
A few days away, a night out with friends, a few hours focused elsewhere, and their day is in shambles, their guilt bleeding out as a last ditch effort to control you.
I still do that with my girlfroend sometimes, I’m a recovering guiltmonger.
But in the past, I’ve broken relationships because of it. As soon as she would plan something that didn’t involve me, I would send her through an emotional firestorm where I’m the powerless victim of her insensitive behavior. She would cry, I would pout. Then she would either still go out and feel guilty, while I made sure to make her miserable via text; or she would stay in and grow resentment towards me.
We think of abuse as either physical or verbal. The screaming drunk wife beater. It’s not binary, there is a third abuser lurking silently. Worst of all, this abuser likes to frame themselves as the victim. These people can destroy you, thinking that they just love you.