As I’ve been transitioning to a new job, there’s a lot going on and very little time to do it. Somewhat longingly, I look back at all of the free time and short work days that I took for granted.
And with chance there is chaos. It always brings ambiguity, instability and inefficiency. In moments of change, we do things slower, and take more brain power to do them.
And that’s why it’s so beautiful.
On a primal level, big change means a deeper focus. A survival reflex is triggered, and there is a necessary sense of presence otherwise lost to leisurely life.
More importantly, when there’s no time to do anything, it gives us a chance to ask a question that everyday life doesn’t:
“What do I miss?”
Since time is limited, what do I miss most about the days when it wasn’t? And what does that tell me about myself?
What we miss most when we no longer have it can tell us a lot about what gives meaning to our lives.
With that knowledge we can work and fight to get those things back into our lives.
In my case, I realized how much I miss writing. I don’t have the time to torment over a blank sheet for an hour. I don’t have time to get lost in a thought, trying to find a clever phrase to express it. But now that I’ve experienced longing – now that I know I miss it – I’m ready to make time for it.
Whatever sacrifice it takes, it’s a sacrifice that is deeply meaningful. The definition of passion is the thing you’re willing to suffer for, and longing and chaos are a good metric for finding that passion.