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Alain de Botton on love

Lessons on love from Alain De Botton interviewed by Krista Tippett:

  • Humans are naturally incapable of finding perfect love. Funding a perfect partner to complete you is a myth we all buy into. 
  • Because of this myth of perfect love, we struggle more than we have to in our relationships. 
  • The romantic movie moment where a couple finds love is only the beginning of a journey, an incomplete story. 
  • The Ancient Greeks viewed love as a process where two people help bring out the best characteristics in each other. Not try to change each other like we do today. 
  • When we fail at perfect love, we turn to frustration, forced change and humiliation. 
  • Expecting your partner to know what you want, even if it seems blatantly obvious to you, is unfair. Your are the cause of your own sulking. 
  • One way to look at your lover is as you would at a child. Their negative outbursts or behaviors are probably coming from a benevolent place. We do this naturally with kids. 
  • Biggest enemy to love is thinking you’re undamaged. You’re as difficult to live with as they are. 
  • Too often we blame our lovers instead of our view of love. 
  • Accept and embrace loneliness have a healthier relationship. Don’t rely on your partner to fill a constant lonely void. Be okay with yourself, by yourself. 
Published inLearnPodcast Notes

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