Key Concepts for Life

One theory for Elon Musk’s radical vision and obsessive execution is his ability to rely on first principe thinking. He knows that he doesn’t have all the answers, but also trusts a list of innate skills and processes’ that will get him to the solution.

When I’m interviewing people for a job, I don’t really care about their skillsets and knowledge, I’m looking for a curious mind that wants to understand the ‘why.’

With that in mind, I’ve spent the last year or so tracking my own first principles. In the Bible, God created the universe and everything in it by giving names to things. There is great power in naming something, and this is my attempt to verbalize the things that consistently deliver no matter how lost I am. This is my attempt to lay a foundation for my own little universe:

• Take inventory. Every time you’re faced with a new challenge, pause to see what tools you have at your disposal. It’s easy to forget what you already know, especially when you’re in a state of reacting.

• Radical Acceptance. I think it’s a book title, but it resonated because it implies taking crap and turning it into empowerment. If I’m going to be militant about anything in life, it will be about accepting whatever cards are dealt, because, what choice do we have?

• Deliberate & Mindful. As with taking inventory, the more present you are in a circumstance, the more likely you’ll be to capitalize on it. Whether building a new relationship or doing the last bicep curl, you’ve worked so hard to get to this moment, why not stop to get more value out of it. Even when faced with pain, stopping to analyze why this thing hurts so bad gives meaning to an experience.

• Underpromise and Over-deliver. The curse of the well wisher. I’ve seen too many people get crushed by the weight of their own promises. Promises to themselves, their loved ones and their colleagues. In an age of overwhelm and distraction, I wonder how much of that is self-inflicted? I’d rather promise less and deliver more than consistently get crushed by unchecked ambition. Promising less frees you to do better work on the commitments you already have, and it helps people build trust in you. This one is still a big work in progress for me.

• Kindness is the greatest self help trick of all. In a secular and materialistic world, it’s hard to find meaning. The human spirit urns to be a part of a greater cause, whatever it is. It’s innate. Modern society doesn’t offer many meaningful purposes. That’s not true. It offers too many meaningful purposes, and suddenly our brain has scattered our soul into too many pieces. Kindness can be the bigger picture principle that makes the spirit whole again. I don’t know what I’m doing with my life, but I can spend every day of it trying to be kinder.

• The right tool makes all the difference “When all you’ve got is a hammer, every problem looks like a nail,” Abraham Maslow. After pausing and taking inventory, there is a wonderful opportunity to find the right tool. Whether a phone call to a friend, a Google search or a second to hone the Chefs knife, a more effective solution will come with the right tool.

• Good or bad, at the end of the day there’s a bed waiting for you.

• Even the hard floor can feel like a fluffy bed to a resilient mind. This is why I’ve taken to meditation and the stoics. Meditation to be less reactive to a problem, stoicism to empower me to accept it.

• Will power is a lot stronger than you realize. How do you build that will power?

• Through Hormesis – a large dose of something will kill you, a small one will make you stronger. Exposure to small bursts of pain and discomfort builds a more resilient body and mind.

• Call yourself out on your own bullshit. The human brain is brilliant at spotting patterns, and sometimes it seems them in places they don’t exist. That’s why it’s useful to have a healthy skepticism of everything, including our own story. I’ve spent too many years letting my ego ruin my life. It’s the never ending boss battle.

• Kindness, Gratitude, Curiosity – foundational values. In a list of first principles, it’s these three that build the strongest foundation. If I look back at my life and say that I lived with kindness, gratitude and curiosity, then I know that I will have lived a satisfying life.

• Abundance quickly becomes waste. I enjoy cheesecake. The mere thought of it makes me excited. But when I have it too often, it loses its luster, and becomes another mundane snack. And unhealthy at that. Like with promises, too many things brings an unintended cognitive load.

• Delayed gratification = deeper satisfaction. See cheesecake analogy.

• Life Maximization – does this maximize my experience on Earth? It’s too easy to get caught up in the weeds, not seeing that life is passing right by. This is especially true when people neglect meaning for work.

• Inspire trust to build connection. Deep connection is earned, and it’s earned over a long time down the difficult path of vulnerability. This path will hurt, it will burn you, but going to sleep knowing that you were open and honest is satisfactory in and of itself.

• Everyone knows something you don’t. I learned this when I was a security guard, and some of the most fascinating stories that I encountered came from the cleaning crew. When I meet someone new, even for a fleeting second, the interaction is rich and exciting when I use this thinking. I wish I was better at this one.

• Pattern disruption. Break patterns to find your calling, break through slumps, connect with people. It’s too easy to get caught up in a routine. It’s comfortable, even if it’s with and invisible noose of mediocrity.

I imagine that this list will change over time, but it’s a good snapshot for now. What are your first principles?

Thanks for reading, and may your holidays be filled with kindness, gratitude and curiosity!